The Pillow That Fooled Me: A Tale of Frustration and Creative Thinking

There was one night early on where I got totally frustrated with my pregnancy/nursing pillow in the middle of the night and had a hissy fit! What a nightmare!

I’d treated myself to a pricey “Pregnancy and Nursing Pillow” early on, thinking the investment was totally worth it for all the benefits and usess the pillow was advertised with. It is like a long, U-shaped cushion;  a cross between a soft pillow and a bean bag. It is apparently approved by doctors, and good for supporting hips, back, legs, and baby bump; said to relieve back and neck pain, decrease swelling in the legs; and apparently great to warp around your midrif to lay your baby on so they can feed at your breast. I find the pillow super comfy for lounging on, and it really helped me sleep on my side towards the end of pregnancy, so I can recommend it for that!

Honestly, though, I was cheated a bit by the promise that it would be helpful with a little one at my breast, too! Actually, it is just too big and unwieldy, plus too soft and unevenly filled to be good for breastfeeding, at least for us. One side worked OK, to keep bubba’s head at the right height, but then her legs were slipping down; plus, the whole pillow was so big that I nearly started a pillow fight with sleeping husband when trying to get that thing in position for a feed. I found all of this out very quickly after coming home with a newborn and trying to wrangle with it to feed her in the dark and half asleep! What a disappointment!

This one night, at around 3 am, when I was getting frustrated and my arms were aching from holding myself and bubba in wholly unnatural positions, I discovered what’s really practical for breastfeeding was my husband’s pillow. It’s just a normal pillow for sleeping – a neck-support pillow you’d find on a lot of beds. Serously nothing particultly special: 50x70x10cm, slightly contoured upper side, latext filling and cotton cover. No “pregnancy” or “nursing” or “breastfeeding” in its name or advertising. But it worked a treat! The size is just right for our little one to lie on. And the height means that I can rest it on my knees/thighs, and even sit cross-legged, for her head to be level with my breast. And, in contrast to the expensive U-formed monster, it’s evenly filled and a good level of firmness so bubba doesn’t sink in and end up lying with her head down a ditch!

Obviously it’s not so practical for my husband to have his pillow taken away by our little invader! So, romantic and generous me was thinking about buying him a new pillow to compensate. Realistic me had a better idea, though: I dug out an old pillow that had been relegated to use for guests! For feeding, I mean, not for him! (Even realistic me isn’t that mean!)

So, what’s the moral of the story? Don’t be tricked into spending lots of money on pillows that seem to be good for pregnancy, sleeping, breastfeeding, teleporting through time and all sorts of other amazing things! Make sure you chooe a pillow that is really going to work for you! Think concretely about what you want to use the pillow for, how big and what shape it should be and what filling / firmness would be helpful for that. You’ll probably also want to check the material is machine washable and unlikely to cause allergic reactions. Really, my advice would be to ask around, see if you can borrow a pillow to try out, buy secondhand pillows – and first see if you don’t have something already at home that might do the trick just fine!