It sounds harsh to compare a sweet, innocent baby to a little witch, doesn’t it? Yet, for what felt like an eternity, our darling bubba transformed into a screaming monster for several hours every evening from 6 pm. This inconsolable crying is a new-parent struggle commonly referred to as the “witching hours.”

The Chaos of Witching Hours

In our case, the nights with our newborn were mostly manageable. But the evenings were marred by the chaos of inconsolable screaming, leaving us as new parents feeling utterly helpless. It wasn’t just cries; it was constant ear-piercing, heart-wrenching screams that echoed around the walls, draining our nerves, and leaving us on edge and barely coping. And shockingly, we discovered that this excessive crying wasn’t unique to our baby; quite a few high-needs infants experience bouts of distress like this throughout the day or evening.

Strategies for Soothing a Fussy Baby

We tried all the strategies we could think of to soothe her:

• Cuddling
• Rocking
• Stroking
• Singing
• Walking
• White noise
• Repetitive nature sounds
• Rhythmic beats

We carried her on countless laps of the living room, hoping to find solace in motion. We tried out the common advice of playing certain sounds, noises, or music. Occasionally a strategy would provide a short relief. Yet nothing seemed to help her to calm down reliably. Plus, what worked one day just seemed to exacerbate the situation the next, which only served to make us feel more defeated and useless as parents.

I searched extensively for answers in various advice resources on the topic of babies’ sleep, but the conflicting information left me feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. But I did, for the first time, find out about the concept of witching hours and high-needs infants. It was good to understand, though I was still no closer to figuring out how we could best help our little daughter feel calmer!

And, more than that: How had I not known about the concept of witching hours? Why had no one told me about it? I felt like I was navigating uncharted territory without a compass, consumed by the fear that I was failing my baby.

Parenthood’s Toughest Challenge So Far

It seemed as though people around us viewed dealing with these hours of inconsolable screaming as a rite of passage; an unspoken trial to be endured by new parents. Perhaps those who had gone through it themselves had buried the memories deep down, or maybe they had resigned to the idea that hours of crying spells were just an inevitable part of parenthood.

Let me tell you, it has definitely been the most challenging element of parenting we’ve faced so far! It was such a hard time for me, and shaped my start into motherhood so harshly. I’m sharing our story to reassure other parents facing the witching hours that they’re not alone, and to offer support and guidance through this challenging time. The witching hours are real, not your fault, and they can wreak havoc on even the most resilient of parents, especially if you compare your situation with others.

Understanding the Science Behind Infant Distress

In the past, people attributed this kind of upset to colic or digestive discomfort. Nowadays, child psychologists widely accept that witching hours are more likely to be caused by an inability to cope with stress and stimulation. Colic and wind are actually probably a result of the screaming, rather than the cause of distress. So, yes, it might be a good first step to try gripe water or gas drops, or change your diet if you’re breastfeeding – but if that doesn’t help, then you’re going to need other ideas to get you through this really rough time.

I wish I could offer a magic solution, a foolproof method to weather the storm, but the truth is, there doesn’t seem to be one. All I can offer is reassurance – you’re not alone. You’re not failing as a parent. Sometimes, all you can do is ride out the storm, clinging to the hope that calmer seas lie ahead.

Finding Calm in the Chaos

We eased the screaming slightly by minimising new input and stimulation during the day. We found that reducing exposure to new situations, loud noises, and excessive activity helped create a calmer environment for our bubba. By easing her into the outside world very slowly and mostly sticking to familiar contexts, we noticed a decrease in the intensity of her evening distress. This was just one little way we tried to mitigate the stress she experienced and reduce the need for her to release it through inconsolable screams during the witching hours. This did mean, though, that we spent a lot of time alone at home – which was not great for my mental health and “baby blues”!

This ordeal also confirmed for us the power of self-care. We learnt to practise meditation and deep breathing exercises whilst carrying or cuddling a crying baby, trying to anchor and calm ourselves amidst the chaos. And gradually, our little one picked up on our calming signals.

Finally, as if by some miracle, she found solace in the gentle sway of a hammock cradle. For us, the dreaded witching hours finally slowly faded away starting around the age of three months. She’s still not great with new, stressful situations though, and often sleeps poorly after experiencing new things, places or people – but the daily screaming has subsided. This was one of the big 6-month milestones for us.

So, to all the parents battling through the witching hours, I see you. I hear you. And though the journey feels endless, it WILL get easier at some point – often without you having to actually do very much! For now, don’t blame yourself, but take care of yourself as much as possible. You’ve got this!