The Myth of the “Maternity Holiday”

Honestly… I got a bit fed up with hearing comments about my “maternity holiday”! It was even worse when it came to my husband’s parental leave. But let’s get this straight: there was no sip-your-cocktail-by-the-pool kinda vibe happening here!

Realities of Parental Leave

For me, parental leave was a crash course in functioning on minimal sleep, multitasking like a maniac, and grappling with child psychology, infant development, and more. It was tough. I’ve written about some of the struggles in my posts on the Witching Hours, Baby Blues, or Baby’s Sleep. Seriously, the challenges of maternity and parental leave do not provide much scope for new parents to chill out!

So why do some people insist on calling it a “holiday”? Using the word “holiday” suggests relaxation and leisure, which couldn’t be further from the truth. Or maybe they really think parental leave is work-free downtime? But we were tackling unchartered challenges, laugh-crying through the chaos, and trying to handle this scary new parenting malarkey. It was definitely not your typical holiday scenario … though it was definitely an adventure most days!

Reality Check: Parental Leave Moments

For instance, here’s one of my in-hindsight-funniest moments: One morning on the loo, I had to hold the bin on my lap to keep it out of bubba’s reach, hold a drawer shut with one foot, and keep bubba’s hand steady while she tried to climb up holding my knickers. Superhero-level multitasking, right? But not exactly a holiday!

Or another night early on, before I’d mastered moving like a ninja-mum, I’d finally got bubba back to sleep after a night feed. I tiptoed to the kitchen for a drink (I know, beginner’s error not having a water bottle by the bed!). As I opened the fridge, a rogue tupperware of leftovers tumbled out, clattered onto the floor. The noise felt deafening in the otherwise silent house. It made me jump in the dark and spill juice all over myself. Of course, it woke up our little bean, too. And so I was tp back square one with soothing her, while cleaning up the mess—in my soggy pyjamas. Parenting reality: even the simplest tasks turn into epic adventures. As I say… Not a holiday!

Finding the Right Words: Beyond “Holiday”

There are so many more accurate terms we can use to talk about this period parents spend with their young children, whether it’s maternity leave, family leave, or extended parental leave for up to three years. We have perfectly good, precise terms that do not belittle this challenging and demanding time. Let’s use those instead, and leave “holiday” for actual fun-filled and relaxing holidays!

Here are some alternative terms to use:

Parental Leave, Maternity Leave, Paternity Leave, Family Leave, Caregiver Leave, Childcare Leave, Infant Care Leave, New Parent Leave, Parenting Period, Parenting Time, Family Time, Child-Rearing Time, Child-Rearing Leave, Family Bonding Time, Baby Bonding Time. (Chat GPT gave me this list!)

These names more accurately reflect the purpose and reality of the time spent caring for a new child. Can we please, please use these terms to better support and recognize the hard work of new parents?

End of Announcement

Parental leave is far from a holiday; let’s appreciate the effort and dedication it takes from new parents, rather than dismissing the challenges as a “holiday”.

Over to you: Who’s heard similar comments? Give me an eye-roll emoji below! 🙄Or share your own funny parental leave stories or tips for managing the chaos!

#parentingreality #NoHolidayHere #mumlife #newmum #parentingadventures #parentingblogger #mumblogger #MomentsofMotherhood